Book Review: Eight Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory Before I Tried It and Frakked It Up

Image description: The book sets on a wood porch railing. The cover features white and fuscia text with pink flowers. A cute image in the foreground features fingertips with happy faces drawn on them. The three are in a happy embrace.

If you are in or are looking into an open relationship or Polyamory, I’m excited to recommend this book. Eight Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory (Before I Tried It and Frakked It Up) is written by Cunning Minx, the host of the podcast Polyamory Weekly which you can check out here.


The podcast Polyamory Weekly is a wealth of great discussions on Polyam and Open Relationship topics. Past episodes include Polyam marriage legalization, money matters, and metamour conflicts.


The book is a great supplement to the podcast and a handy little item to have in my arsenal of resources on living in an open relationship.


The book is short, 84 pages in print, but what it lacks in length it makes up for in quality. I genuinely love that every page of this book contains a gem of information or spot-on advice. Other shorter manuals on Polyamory have failed in this respect. So, if you are looking for a solid resource on Polyam living without wading through a huge tome, this is definitely the book to look into. I personally always recommend shorter more concise resources first, so readers don’t become overwhelmed with information and shut down. Exploring Polyamory can get intense and when I first started, I needed a gentler pace. I think this book would be a great item for public libraries because of this.


The book includes such lessons as “Communication is a Journey,” “Make Guidelines, Not Rules,” and “New Relationship Energy is Fun.” Most of these things are covered in other Polyamory books, but I feel the author does take the conversation to the next level. Her understanding of living in a Polyamorous relationship as well as her knowledge of a diverse range of Polyam experiences shines through in the text.


The thing that stands out for me is the author’s outline for creating your own User Manual. She brings to attention how your family background and how you are turned on emotionally and physically are important in exploring partners and making good matches.


Overall, this book contains a plethora of starting points to get the conversation rolling with yourself, current partners, and potential partners. Enjoy!

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